Sunday, September 8, 2013

I am still here...the next devotion I am to write about is the ecstasy that is encountered when one realizes the love of God.  Since reading the devotion, all I can see is how I fall short is trying to share that love.  It has been three days....

I know that there are homeless women who have no safe place to sleep at night, I mailed the organization that now provides them with one a check....I know that kids go hungry on a regular basis in the town where I live....I bought several bags of groceries for them....I am in pain over what is happening in the middle east and I am praying for Syria and Egypt...the list goes on and on...but in my mind it falls short..

Over the last few days thinking about God's love for me has been overwhelming....He loves you and everyone else the same way....with love comes ecstasy...and with that ecstasy one finds pain.  God loves us unconditionally and no matter how we try, we can never come close loving Him back the same way...

Overwhelmed by this thought, I really tried to make a difference these last few days.  I gave and gave and gave and it was never enough.  I am exhausted and sad.  This is not the way God wants me to feel.

So what did I do wrong?

I forgot that unconditional love means God loves me as I am.  He does not expect me to be perfect.  He does not expect me to do everything.  He accepts me for who I am, a human, fallible creature, who will always fall short.  The only thing he "expects" of me is to love Him with all my heart and do what I can when I can and embrace life.  And to top it all off, he allows me to make the choice.

What a wonderful, wonderful God that is.  God is love, real love, and that is the only thing I have to remember.

God wants us to love HIm, love others, and love ourselves.  Trying to give twenty four hours a day and work ourselves into exhaustion is not what he wants.  We have to take care of ourselves while we take care of each other and try very hard to be the person he wants us to be...

For the first time in three days, I finally feel a sense of peace.   Over this time, I worked and worked to be in service to God but I also forgot that sometimes the best thing you can do for God is just be with him.   Today was Sunday, a very special day.  I went to Mass at my church (St John;s Episcopal) and then I went to another church (Westminster Presbyterian)  for their service which took time to recognize the staff and volunteers of the preschool where I teach.  i was greeted by love in both places and all I could do in my heart was cry.  Again I was feeling that unconditional love, but this time something had changed.  I went home, took a nap, and after I was completely awake, I realized what Jesus was trying to say....

Faith, hope, and love....the greatest of these is love....Loving God is my job, not saving the world.  but l
can make a positive difference and if we all do this then the world will be saved.

“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” 
― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

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