Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I am back from my retreat--actually I have been home for several far I have not been able to put the experience into words...I have tried but nothing I write seems to give it justice.....but I can write about one thing....the self assessment test.  I had to face what I already knew which was the fact that I do not have very many close relationships outside my family and work...everyone needs friends...close friends... and for the first time in my life I have the freedom to make friends and build relationships
....but I haven't a clue how to go about doing this.... as far as problems go, I have minimized this challenge thinking I could fix it at any time....the truth be known, this idea of making new friends and building relationships scares me....

Long story short---after we took the test and then wrote out an exercise in who we are and what we want and became obvious this was something that needed to be dealt with now... so day after tomorrow I will have company--I have invited those who were with me on the retreat to come to my house for coffee... I can't believe I did house is in various stages of renovation and downsizing and I have never had friends over for coffee---NEVER....associations outside of work and family and even church were discouraged in my for the last 20plus years, I have not been a hostess in any sense of the word.  the last two days after work I came home and was paralyzed, unable to think or do anything that might enhance the experience...I couldn't dust or vacuum or mop or even put stuff away.  I could not see anyway that I could make this a place where anyone would feel welcome, much less want to come back....I just wanted to get on the phone and cancel it all.....but then I remembered what one of my new friends told me at the retreat....."Friends come to your home to see you and not your house"..... I also remember that one of the dreams I wrote down for myself was the idea that I could become known for my hospitality....

Today I began doing general cleaning in spite of my fear and then took the time to look up the word hospitality....this is what is said:
generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests 
My focus was wrong.....
Suddenly everything changed....we were on a retreat together and all that time we spent talking and sharing and getting close and praying and worshipping God could not be squelched even by how I perceive my house....I love these women and they are taking the time to come and see me in spite of where I live...the very least I can do is relax....and allow the fact that along with being anxious I am excited to spend even more time with' is really going to be, it is actually going to be more that okay, it is going to be good.

Thank you God for helping me come to my senses!  Now I think I can vacuum the carpet and mop the kitchen floor without the old baggage....I want my life to heal and it may as well begin now with my new friends!


Hebrews 13:2
2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.


“In Ireland, you go to someone's house, and she asks you if you want a cup of tea. You say no, thank you, you're really just fine. She asks if you're sure. You say of course you're sure, really, you don't need a thing. Except they pronounce it ting. You don't need a ting. Well, she says then, I was going to get myself some anyway, so it would be no trouble. Ah, you say, well, if you were going to get yourself some, I wouldn't mind a spot of tea, at that, so long as it's no trouble and I can give you a hand in the kitchen. Then you go through the whole thing all over again until you both end up in the kitchen drinking tea and chatting. 

In America, someone asks you if you want a cup of tea, you say no, and then you don't get any damned tea.

I liked the Irish way better.” 
― C.E. Murphy, Urban Shaman

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