Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Embracing the silence

This morning everything is quiet.  For the first time since my husband's death, my mind is not racing. There is still much to do but everything that had to be done "immediately" is done....I am embracing the quiet and sharing my gratitude with God. Through the love and support of family and friends, I am feeling God's love everywhere and am empowered to face all the challenges that lie ahead.   I finally can catch my breath.

My faith in God is strong and I embrace life.  Somehow through all of this, I hope that God can use me to bring others closer to him.  Everything in life is about choices.  God loves us so much, He allows us the freedom to choose Him.  When I chose Him, and then finally gave myself back to the One who gave me life, that is the moment when I became truly free---which seems a contradiction in terms if you look at the circumstances of my life.

Recently I wrote in an email to a friend the following except.  Today I can not express what I am feeling any better.  Hopefully, sharing my experience will make a positive difference in your life

For months I have been mourning the loss of my marriage even though Jon was still alive
..and then one day the mourning for the most part stopped.....
Then Jon died....I think I have felt almost every emotion that I can feel (if that is possible) in a week.
Then this morning, I realized that I had my life back...no that isn't even right....
This morning for the first time in my life I realized that God gave me life and I understand what an incredible gift that is...
And I feel His presence everywhere...
And that presence is manifested in compassion 

If I would die tonight, what I am feeling right now would make everything in my life okay because it brought me right here, right now and it is positively wonderful
I can not express in words how grateful I am....how in awe I am...how humble I feel.....

Humility is what happens when you finally let God 100% into your heart and are overwhelmed by His love and realize that all you felt was a gentle touch.   

1 comment:

  1. Hope you can continue finding strength in prayer and meditation, as you let God comfort you in times of sorrow.